Module 3 – The Momentous Leap

Module 3
The Momentous Leap

WHAT WE BELIEVE IS BASED ON OUR PAST

What you currently believe about yourself, other people, and the world is based on thoughts from your past.

Beliefs are nothing more than thoughts you’ve thought over and over until they became beliefs. Throughout your life you have learned thoughts and beliefs directly and indirectly, and most of them are now so ingrained that you aren’t even aware of them. You probably even think your beliefs are facts!

Just like a fish is unaware of the water in which it swims, we are often unaware of the thoughts we are thinking.

We must develop the skill of becoming a Watcher.

We have to learn to watch our brain think so we can recognize thoughts and beliefs for what they are – subjective choices.

Often, we think we are observing facts when we are actually making judgments based on what we have learned in our past.

For example, we will think the thought, “That is a beautiful woman.” We won’t question that as a fact. When we believe our thoughts, we think they are facts. We will think there is something inherently beautiful about that woman – that other people would be crazy (or wrong) if they thought she was not beautiful. The same goes for thoughts like “technology is hard” and “my business isn’t working.” These beliefs are so deeply ingrained that we don’t see them as beliefs anymore, we mistake them for facts.

HOW TO DISCOVER EXISTING BELIEFS

I want you to identify these beliefs and question them. We don’t often see our beliefs as beliefs, so I want you to evaluate each of your thoughts. It’s
important for you to understand which beliefs are serving you and which are not. Then you can take ownership of your beliefs and choose which you want to get rid of and which you’d like to keep.

A strong indicator of a negative thought is a negative feeling.

You are likely to think that the negative feeling is coming from the world (a circumstance) because you have so often drawn that conclusion. However, feelings always come from thinking. Thoughts that create disempowerment will block new beliefs that generate self empowerment.

ON A SEPARATE SHEET OF PAPER, FILL IN THESE BLANKS AND SEE WHAT YOU DISCOVER:

? I don’t like…
? I don’t want…
? That won’t work because…
? I’ve never done it, so…
? It’s his/her fault because…

HOW TO BELIEVE SOMETHING WE DON’T YET BELIEVE

Beliefs are super thoughts. They are thoughts you’ve kept thinking for so long they feel like facts.

Beliefs are not facts. You have a set of beliefs, or a belief system, from these thoughts because you have practiced thinking them over and over, intentionally or not. This doesn’t mean that they are true, it just means that you have decided they are true. If you want to stop believing something, you have to first recognize that it’s a current belief you have chosen and then you must decide to change your mind.

I are not suggesting that facts are not true. Facts are facts whether we believe them or not. The truth, however, is subjective. For example, a rock is a rock. That is a fact. Everyone would agree that an object is a rock, but we can choose our personal, subjective truth about that rock. Do we choose to see it as dangerous or as beautiful?

We can choose either, and both would be true. We get to decide which one we want to believe and focus on.

WHAT WE WANT IS BASED ON OUR FUTURE

Often, we look to our past for validation that we are capable of something.

This only works if we are looking to accomplish something we’ve already accomplished in the past. Imagine if a baby who was learning to walk refused to try because they had never been successful at walking before. With this mindset, the baby would never learn to walk. Fortunately, when we were babies, we didn’t look to our past for evidence that we would be successful or we’d still be crawling!

Somewhere, typically in our early adulthood, we stop focusing on our future and focus instead on our past to help us decide what we’re capable of. We begin choosing thoughts like, “I’ve never done it before, so I’m not sure I can do it” or “I’ve always been bad with money; it’s just who I am” or “I’ve never been able to figure out technology easily” or “I’ve always been shy/awkward around women/in groups” or “My purpose is unknown to me, I am waiting for the next opportunity to fall in my lap.”

We limit our future potential based on who we’ve been and what we’ve accomplished so far.

Focusing on the future means you will recognize limiting beliefs, let them go, and replace them with beliefs that serve your dreams. It means focusing on the road ahead and getting excited about the future. It means that to create a different future, you have to create something that doesn’t exist in your past.

You must believe something that you don’t currently believe. If you already believed it, you would have created the result you do not yet have.

ASK YOURSELF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS AND ANSWER THEM ON A SHEET OF PAPER:

? In what ways are you past focused?
? How do you let things from your past define or limit you?
? What beliefs do you have that don’t serve you anymore?

THE SECRET TO ALL RELATIONSHIPS

Humans are often very confused about how relationships work. We’re under the impression that we have to control the world (and everyone in it) to feel good. We have so many rules for our relationships that we’ve stopped experiencing them and are locked into our expectations of how these relationships should be.

Relationships are thoughts.

You are never in a relationship with a person or a thing, you are only ever in a relationship with your thoughts about a person or a thing.

Your relationship with anyone, including the one that they have with yourself, and the relationship they have with other people, your past, and your money are dependent on the thoughts you choose to think.

THE MANUAL

A manual is a “book” of rules and expectations of what we think should happen in a relationship. This manual is often unspoken and acts as a barrier in creating loving relationships.

Knowing that we have manuals, and dropping these manuals, is the best first step in any relationship where you might be having friction.

You likely have manuals for yourself, other people, and your past.

The list below is of some common expectations you may have and ask them what other expectations they have.

? I should be better at this
? This technology shouldn’t be so difficult
? I shouldn’t fail
? I shouldn’t be so scared all the time
? I should be further along than I am
? She should call me back when I call her
? She should listen to me for as long as I listen to her
? She should tell me she loves me
? My job should provide money for me
? I should be more successful
? That shouldn’t have happened to me when I was a kid
? Life should be easy
? Life should be simple
? Life should not require discomfort

These examples are simple and brief, but the truth is that most manuals are pages and pages thick. They are complicated, intricate, and detailed.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOURSELF

Having an amazing relationship with yourself is simply a commitment to thinking awesome thoughts about yourself. I am fully aware and acknowledge that it sounds easy and is very hard for most people. The reason is because our brains are designed to look for the bad and to judge. The brain is a problem-solving machine. When we turn our brains on ourselves, our brain find problems that don’t exist! We spend so much brain energy judging ourselves that we often have very little energy left to love ourselves on purpose.

I want you to start thinking about yourself as two people, or ‘roles’. There is your true self, the fullest version of you, the best version of you, your Alpha State – this is “the boss”. Then, there is the brain, the thoughts and beliefs systems, the programs, the conditioning, the Beta Condition – this is “the employee, or technician”. As the boss, you are responsible for the vision of your ‘business’ (life) and the overall success or failure of the ‘company’ long term. You also know that the value and success of your business depends solely on your employees, or technicians.

As the boss, you employ the technician. As the technician, you are responsible for the technical side of their business (which is operating the thoughts that create the desired result for the boss, or company). This is what your brain does; it thinks thoughts.

When you don’t have a relationships with yourself, it’s like the employees are all running around the company screaming, “WHAT DO WE DO, WHAT DO WE DO?!” and there is no boss to give them direction. Technicians don’t have vision, they just operate the last program they were given – which for most of us came from childhood and all the lessons we learned from our parents and teachers and adults around us. Without a boss running the company, we are all child employees running around being unproductive and, sometime, sabotaging the company unintentionally.

I want you to step into the roll of the boss – your Alpha State. What expectations do you have for your technician (“the employee”)?

ASK YOURSELF:
? What are some thoughts you think about yourself as the boss?
? What kind of relationship are these thoughts creating?
? What is the impact of these thoughts on your relationship with others and with your past?
? What are the expectations and job description of the boss in your ‘business’ from the perspective of the technician?
? What are the roles, expectations, and job description of the technician in your ‘business’ from the perspective of the boss?

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER PEOPLE

I want you to remember that other people are a circumstance. They, like your past and everything in the present (like money, as you’ll see below), is neutral. Other people are good and bad, likable and dislikable, capable of the most horrible atrocities and the greatest levels of compassion. The full range of behavior is within each human being. Human’s are capable of anything, literally anything they can think of. Volition allows for an infinite possibility of action from any human at any time.

What we choose to see in people is the relationships we form with them. The more we get ‘to know’ someone, the more we add to the story we tell ourselves about who we think they are. We look for evidence to support the story we tell ourselves about them and when something ‘goes wrong’ in the relationships, it’s when they behave in a way that is different than the story we tell ourselves about who they are.

I want you guys to really understand this Alpha Tenet:

We are never in a relationship with a person or a thing, we are only ever in a relationship with our thoughts about a person or a thing.

Every relationship you have with another person is based on a trifecta of cognition; the thoughts you have about yourself in the relationship, the thoughts you have about the other person in the relationship, and the thoughts you have about the relationship itself. Period. Full stop.

It’s true – the other person has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE RELATIONSHIP YOU HAVE WITH THEM. You NEVER have to change or fix another person to change the relationship you have with them. You couldn’t do that even if you wanted to (which is why trying to control, fix, or change other people creates so much conflict)! The best news is that you DO HAVE 100% control over what you CAN DO to change the relationship you have with them.

Review the sections on The Manual and Unconditional Love (in Module 4).

Reflect on whether you’re showing up with love for other people or not. When you create Unconditional Love for yourself, the more you express that love for other people, the more you’ll show up as more of who you are, and the more value you will create.

Creating amazing relationships starts with deep connection and love for other people.

ASK YOURSELF:
? What do you think about other people?
? In what ways do you want your other people to be different?
? How do you want to show up around other people?
? What difference do you think it will make to show up in this way?
? How would you describe a difficult person? What do they do or not do?
? What if that behavior didn’t get labeled as a ‘difficult person’, in what simply neutral behavior/action? How would this change how you show up?

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PAST

The relationship you have with your past is just like any other relationship you have in life. It is the relationship you have with your thoughts about your past. Nothing that happened in the past is affecting you RIGHT NOW. What is affecting you RIGHT NOW is the way you’re thinking about your past RIGHT NOW.

There are no old thoughts. What you choose to think about in the moment is what creates the feelings in the moment. It is not your past that is creating how you feel RIGHT NOW, or what you were thinking at that time in the past that is creating how you feel RIGHT NOW. It is what your thinking RIGHT NOW that is creating how you feel RIGHT NOW.

Have I said ‘RIGHT NOW’ enough yet?

Look, your past no longer exists. It is as extinct as the dinosaurs. In some ways, it never existed, like the unicorn. The only place your past remains is in your memory – in YOUR brain for YOU TO CHOOSE how you want to think about it.

Do you want to choose thought that build you strong or break you down?

Imagine your past as a person.

How do you speak about your past? What do you expect your past to have been like? What is your manual for your past?

Love grows as you accept your past as it is, allow it to have a balance of highs and lows, and believe in its perfection for bringing you to this moment – the present. This is what we want to do for ourselves, for other people, and for our future. Love unconditionally just because it feels good to love. The more you love your past and yourself, the more you will succeed.

ASK YOURSELF:
? How do you think your past should be different?
? What are the conditions you have placed on loving your past?
? What would be different if you loved your past unconditionally?
? What would you be thinking, feeling, and doing differently?
? What is your past trying to tell you?
? What is the thought that you currently have about your past that is most holding you back?
? What new thought are you going to practice about your past from now on?

YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY

Money is a…

Circumstance!

You’re not is a relationship with money, you’re in a relationship with your thoughts about money.

The way you think about money is what will determine how much you have. Many of our current money beliefs are learned in school or by accepting our parents’ belief systems. Like with all other beliefs, I want you to see the benefit of exploring and questioning current money belief systems, in order to develop the exact money relationship you want to have on purpose.

If you don’t feel good about money and if you don’t feel like you have as much of it as you would like, you can challenge all your thoughts about it.

Most people believe they’re limited in how they can earn money, and that it’s only earned over time and by effort, but the real way you create wealth is by creating value.

If you believe that money comes from time and effort, you’re going to be sitting there with your hand out, waiting to get paid. You’ll want to get paid the most you can for the least amount of time and effort, but that will backfire. People who over-deliver always get it back ten times over, not only in their self esteem and in their self confidence, but in their willingness to receive. When you’ve given such quality to the world, you’re open to receiving all the gifts, and all the abundance the world has to offer. When you’re constantly living from a place of scarcity, trying to get paid for every single thing you do, you stop creating value. You’re just doing your time and getting your paycheck, and you’re never going to blow your own mind in terms of money—ever.

Money is actually very easy when you clean up your beliefs about it. When you allow yourself to imagine breaking out of the time and effort money prison, you’ll open yourself up to so much more possibility. Most of us think we get paid for our time, which has a limit, and think there’s a maximum amount we can make based on our education.

ASK YOURSELF:
? What do you believe about money?
? Why do you have the amount of money you have right now?
? What are your thoughts about making more money?
? What is the maximum amount that you believe you can make? Why?
? Is it based on your thoughts about your time? Your education?

Listen to the way your think about money. Notice if you have any thoughts like the one’s below. Notice how your thoughts create your current relationship with money.

? I don’t have enough time to make money.
? Money is hard.
? Money is scarce.
? People don’t want to pay me for what I have to offer.
? I’m never going to have enough money.
? I don’t have the right education.
? I don’t know how to create value.
? I don’t know how to make money.

Now that you have a better idea on your money beliefs, ASK YOURSELF:
? Are these the thoughts you want to be having on purpose?
? What do you want your thoughts to be?