Module 2: Relationships

“We are never in a relationship with a person or a thing, we are only ever in a relationship with our thoughts about a person or a thing.”

Jealousy
Jealousy can be one of the most powerful emotions felt in a relationship.
It is such a common emotion in relationships that I am including it in this course and giving it special attention.
Jealousy is always an emotion and created by thoughts, it is never a fact.
The thoughts are illusions, they are not real.
The emotions are vibrations in the body. They are harmless and uncomfortable.

Jealousy occurs when:
you have doubtful thoughts about yourself in the relationship (low self-esteem, low self-worth),
you have thoughts of envy about your partner in the relationship (she has more achievements, more advantages, more of whatever),
or you have thoughts about there being a weakness in the relationship itself (too much distance, not enough time together, infrequent sexual encounters).

All of these is a thought.
How you think about yourself, how you think about your partner, or how you think about the relationship.
Jealousy is an emotion that always arises from a thought, never from a circumstance.
Finding the thought you have about yourself, your partner, or the relationship will identify the problem.

Watch the video below for a deeper understanding of how jealousy arises, why you feel it, and what you can do to eradicate it from your life forever.

https://vimeo.com/331484513/4ebb2a053a

Self-Study Assignment for Module 2, Day 2

In your notebook, continue to do a thought download every day this week and a model for two of the thoughts in your download.

In your notebook, do a model on the last time you felt jealous:

Take some time and try to remember a time when you felt jealous.
Take the time you need to do this exercise.
If you have never felt jealous, it’s ok to choose any other emotion you’ve felt in a relationship.
The caveat here is that, at the time, you believed the emotion from coming from the other person.
So if you felt angry and you thought your anger was because of the other person (what they said or did), you can use that emotion instead of jealousy.
This skill can be developed using any emotion.
The goal is to recognize that your emotions in a relationship are not coming from the other person, they are coming from your thoughts.
Once you have remembered an emotion you felt at a specific time in the past, you are ready to do this exercise.

Do a model on the situation.
In the F line, write jealous (or whatever emotion you are using for building this skill-set).
In the C line, write the facts that occurred at the time you felt the emotion.
Then, fill in the rest of the model.

Be very conscious of what you choose to put in the T line.
Is it a thought you have about yourself, about your partner, or about the relationship itself?
It could be more than one.
99 times out of 100, the deepest, strongest thought is about yourself.

Fill in the A line and the R line.
Notice how your thoughts created your actions and results.
The circumstance is neutral and you could’ve chosen a different thought, which would have created a different result.
Building this skill-set will lead you to having amazing relationships in your life and getting the results you want from EVERY relationship in your life.