The Mirror Principle & The Inversion Principle
RELATIONSHIPS REVISITED
Humans are often very confused about how relationships work. We’re under the impression that we have to control the world (and everyone in it) to feel good. We have so many rules for our relationships that we’ve stopped experiencing them and are locked into our expectations of how these relationships should be.
Remember, relationships are thoughts!
You are never in a relationship with a person or a thing, you are only ever in a relationship with your thoughts about a person or a thing.
This is an Alpha Male Tenet. It is a guiding principle for living your life aligned with the best version of yourself – your Alpha State.
Your relationship with anyone is dependent on the thoughts you choose to think about yourself in the relationships, the other person in the relationship, and the relationship itself.
The Mirror Principle and Inversion Principle are also Alpha Male Tenets.
THE MIRROR PRINCIPLE
The Mirror Principle is reflection of your thoughts on another person or people.
The Mirror Principle is:
What you think about other people tells you nothing about them and everything about you.
This is a powerful tenet for creating Alpha Relationships. When you realize that what you think about other people isn’t really about them at all and gives you insight into what you’re thinking about yourself (or how you are choosing to view the World), it opens you up to a deeper relationship with yourself and to let go of all the judgements you have about that other person.
You see, what other people do and say in a circumstance for you – it’s 100% neutral. This is true, no matter what. Your brain will want to take responsibility for other peoples actions, as if you have caused them to do or say something. This isn’t true – everything someone else does comes from their thoughts about an equally neutral circumstance. All you see or hear is a reflection of what your brain is already telling you.
If you judge someone to be rude, you will find rudeness within you. If you judge someone else to be stupid or making bad decisions, it’s not because of the choices they are making – it’s because of the thoughts you have about their actions and your illusion that you know what’s best for them.
And the truth is – you don’t. You have no idea what is best for anyone except yourself.
I’ve never met a human who didn’t want to control another human. This is the Beta Condition acting out of fear. After all, if we can’t control other people, how are we going to feel good, right? I mean other people are the reason why we feel good, no? If we want to feel love, we need to be loved by someone. If we want to be happy, we need the approval of other people. If we want to know we are doing the right thing, we need to be told by others – get their permission and receive that external validation.
This is all GARBAGE – 100% LIES.
The truth is, only you can give yourself approval, permission, love, and everything and anything else. Sure, other people can love you – but that’s not about you. You are ALWAYS 100% loveable. If someone else loves you, it means they have the capacity to love, not that you have ‘earned’ their love.
The Mirror Principle states that your mind is constantly reflecting back to you the thoughts you already think about yourself. If your thoughts about other people is loving, amazing, supportive, and encouraging – these are going to be thoughts you have about yourself. If you thoughts about other people are negative, judgmental, abusive, controlling, and degrading – these are going to be thoughts you have about yourself.
Use the Mirror Principle to reflect the way you think about other people back to yourself and be curious about how you might be thinking these thought about yourself. As you change the relationship with yourself – you will change the relationship you have with other people.
THE INVERSION PRINCIPLE
The Inversion Principle is how you understand the way other people relate to you. It is the same as the Mirror Principle, in reverse.
The Inversion Principle is:
Whatever someone else says about you tells you nothing about you and everything about them.
You can see how this is the same as the Mirror Principle. However, I use them separately for different reasons and want to keep them as two distinct principles so you can understand the way to apply them to your relationships.
The Mirror Principle is about the way you think and how you can use your thinking to improve the relationship you have with yourself – which will transfer into all the relationships you have in your life.
The Inversion Principle is about the way other people talk about you (and maybe think about you, but this is a BIG maybe and not a part of the Inversion Principle) and how you can use this principle to improve the relationships you have with other people by allowing them to be themselves, even when it is cleat they are suffering and demonstrating emotional pain through action.
What other people say is about them and THEIR MODEL OF ALIGNMENT. Remember, other people’s actions come from THEIR THOUGHTS. It NEVER comes from you. Even when your brain tells you that you’ve done something to cause them to act this way or say that thing, it isn’t true. Everyone has the power to determine how they are going to demonstrate themselves and it always starts with their THINKING – not your behavior.
I know this is likely counter-intuitive to everything you’ve been taught through childhood and probably even as an adult. There is a lot of nonsense out there about how humans need to be ‘sensitive’ of other people’s feelings and we have to be ‘politically correct’ with our language. Look, I am all about being kind and confident and strong and generous and showing up in acts of service and politeness. I get it – and it happens when you are aligned with your Alpha State as the best version of yourself.
However, it doesn’t EVER mean that if someone is offended or hurt it has anything to do with what you said or did. This Truth will liberate you from guilt and allow you to show up more authentically. It also liberates you from illusion and controlling/manipulating behavior. If you think your behavior has the power to determine how people feel, you will show up in a controlling and manipulative way. This is the ACTION (A line of the Model) that is associated with illusion and knowing knowing and applying the Inversion Principle.
If someone loves you, it means they have the capacity to love. You are ALWAYS 100% loveable, regardless of if someone is loving you or not. If someone hates you, it means they are feeling hate in their body and may be demonstrating that hate in a way that appears as if you’ve done something wrong (this is blame – also an illusion).
Look, hating someone and wanting them to feel your hate is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die. When someone is acting in an angry, hateful, rude way – it has NOTHING to do with you. When you truly KNOW this, it will open you up to compassion instead of being defensive and will save your relationship with this person.
(Similarly, if you think you need someone else to love so you can feel loved is like wanting someone else to eat for you so you can feel full. It doesn’t work that way, which we will get into in both the UNCONDITIONAL LOVE segment and THE POWER OF EMOTIONS segment.)
WORKSHEETS
